the permission to not know
on imposter syndrome, nervous system hijacks, and neuroplasticity
Welcome to the first issue of Default Awake, a weekly newsletter with my favorite finds from the edge of personal growth for high-achievers.
Most founder content is about the how and what. How to raise. What to build. How to sell. And how to do more of it, faster.
This newsletter is more about the who.
Who’s doing the building? Who are you under stress and who are you at your best? Who are you with your team, your customers, your kids? What’s it like to be in the middle of it all?
Each week I curate stories, insights, and practices from podcasts, videos, and essays at the edge of psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and human development. Not as an escape from building things, but as fuel for a more integrated, purposeful life.
This is also my way of amplifying the work of people I admire. Thinkers, practitioners, and creators who are saying things worth hearing. If something here resonates, follow them, support them, learn from them directly.
This week: imposter syndrome as a feature of growth, why your nervous system keeps hijacking your calendar, and what happens when you put your brain into edit mode.
And please share your feedback to help me shape this newsletter. I’d love to hear what you think!
1. The Permission to Not Know Everything
“If you’re doing anything meaningful at all, you’re, to some degree, an imposter.”
That’s Joe Hudson on imposter syndrome. Not exactly the reassurance you’d expect from a high-end coach. But he’s right.
Imposter syndrome shows up most among high achievers precisely because they’re operating in uncharted territory. You’re not supposed to know what you’re doing. That’s the whole point. The feeling of being a fraud is just what growth feels like.
The antidote isn’t pretending you have all the answers. It’s admitting what you don’t know. Hudson calls this vulnerability, but it’s really just honesty. When you stop performing competence, your team can actually help you. When you stop pretending, you can start building.
→ What To Do About Imposter Syndrome (33 mins)
(The irony: pretending to know everything makes you a worse leader than actually being uncertain. Your brain knows this. Your ego just hasn’t gotten the memo.)
2. When Your Nervous System Runs Your Calendar
Amy Buechler spent years coaching founders at Y Combinator. Her observation: founders who can regulate their emotions have a competitive advantage.
Not because they feel less fear. Because they can make decisions while feeling it.
When your nervous system is dysregulated—which it will be, constantly, if you’re building something hard—your brain shuts down strategic thinking. You’re running on survival instinct. Every decision becomes binary: fight or flight. Neither is useful when you’re trying to figure out product-market fit.
The fix isn’t complicated. Buechler teaches 15-second check-ins. Just naming the emotion. “I’m afraid.” “I’m overwhelmed.” Your brain relaxes slightly when you acknowledge what’s happening. Suddenly you have options again.
Dr. Patrick Porter goes deeper: reset your nervous system three times a day. Morning (psychological sighs, sunlight, delay the coffee). Midday (20 minutes of breathing, preferably around 2pm). Evening (4-8 breathing—inhale 4 seconds, exhale 8, think about what went well).
Google employees who did this saw 26% productivity gains. Not because they worked harder. Because their nervous systems stopped hijacking their brains.
→ Avoid Founder Burnout: Y Combinator Coaching Tactics (40 mins)
→ Reset Your Nervous System in 3 Moments a Day (56 mins)
(Turns out, “just push through it” is terrible advice. Your body has been trying to tell you this for years.)
3. Your Brain’s Edit Button
Dr. K has a useful frame for psychedelics: they put your brain into “edit mode.”
Normally, your neural pathways are fixed. Same thoughts, same reactions, same patterns. Psychedelics increase neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself. But they don’t choose what gets edited. You do. That’s why outcomes vary so dramatically.
Some founders take psychedelics and quit their startups within a year. Others—Jobs, Gates, Altman—credit them with fundamental shifts that powered their work. Same molecules, wildly different results.
The difference isn’t the substance. It’s the intention and integration. What are you willing to see? What are you prepared to change?
New research shows even microdoses of LSD (13 micrograms) increase neural complexity—a marker of brain flexibility. It’s not about hallucinations. It’s about creating the conditions for your brain to see differently.
I wrote extensively about this in my essay on why psychedelics won’t make you a better founder—unless you’re already committed to growth. The medicine amplifies what you bring to it.
→ Psychedelics Won’t Make You a Better Founder (Full essay)
→ How Psychedelics Unlock Your Brain’s “Edit Mode” (39 mins)
→ From Placebo to Plasticity: What LSD Really Does (50 mins)
(Funny how we’ll take a molecule to see what’s always been there. Though honestly, sometimes you need the brain to glitch before it can reboot. The question isn’t whether psychedelics work—it’s whether you’re willing to work with what they show you.)
Side Quests
How To Communicate Without Anxiety - Dan Harris on why mindfulness isn’t about clearing your mind. It’s about noticing when you’re reactive and choosing a response instead. The key: create distance between feeling something and acting on it. Also, his tip on reflective listening (paraphrasing what you hear) calms both your nerves and the other person’s. → Listen here (25 mins)
Hidden Level
Why Life Feels So Pointless (and what to do)
Chris Williamson and Angelo Sommers spend two hours exploring the modern malaise. High achievers who feel empty despite success. The curse of competence—where achievement becomes the minimum standard, making celebration impossible.
One insight worth carrying: self-belief and proof exist in a dynamic relationship. You often need belief before evidence. That’s not delusion. That’s how growth works.
They also dig into “positive disintegration”—the idea that psychological breakdowns can lead to stronger, more integrated selves. Acute pain can catalyze growth. Chronic low-level dissatisfaction just keeps you stuck.
The episode is long. But if you’ve ever wondered why success doesn’t feel like you thought it would, this might explain it.
→ #1008 - Angelo Sommers (2 hr 13 min)
(Life is mostly ordinary moments. If you can’t find meaning in the mundane, chasing extraordinary won’t save you.)
That’s it for this week.
I’d love your feedback! How can I make this better for you?
This week’s newsletter was built with Bardwire, an AI subscription/newsletter service I’ve been working on. You curate your favorite podcasts, YouTube channels, and more — Bardwire helps craft the newsletter. Like a friend who listens, then tells you the best bits. Beta testers welcome.